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Salem Oregon Family Legal Blog

Parents can help children get through a divorce

When Oregon parents make the decision to divorce, they may worry about how best to help their children deal with the end of the marriage. Of course, many kids struggle to adjust, because it can bring a great deal of change and uncertainty in their lives. At the same time, kids who grow up in an unhappy, tense household due to their parents' difficult relationship may absorb far more damaging messages about adult relationships. Experts emphasize that conflict is much more harmful to children than a divorce itself. If parents plan to help their children get through the separation, they can emerge with strong relationships following the divorce.

There are some ways that parents can aim to mitigate the changes that accompany the divorce. For example, they can work to keep their children in their current school district, at least for the ongoing academic year. They can also help support their children through open conversation that allows the offspring to have as much input into their own lives as possible. Psychologists also emphasize the importance of emphasizing that the divorce is a decision of the parents and not the fault of the children. Some kids may feel like they are to blame for the divorce or worry that their parents may leave them.

How divorce may affect stay-at-home mothers

Some Oregon mothers may be among the more than 25 percent of American mothers who stay home with their children or even among the 10 percent of so-called "highly educated" mothers who do so. However, even though many Americans feel the mother is a better choice than the father in caring for a newborn, they do not necessarily agree that her contributions mean she should be entitled to an equal share of assets if the two divorce.

Like most states, Oregon requires that assets be divided equitably in a divorce. A study by two Vanderbilt University professors looked at what an equitable division of assets meant to 3,000 participants. They created a story about a couple in which the husband filed for divorce after 17 years of marriage. Both had worked outside the home until the wife quit her job five years into the marriage. From that point, the scenarios diverged. Participants were given variations in which their professions, level of education and property varied.

What to do after a divorce

After a couple in Oregon gets a divorce, they probably still have some additional tasks to complete. Couples need to separate their joint accounts and open their own individual accounts. Ex-spouses should be removed as users on credit cards and any other accounts.

Dividing some other assets is more complex. For example, if the couple owned a home and one person is keeping it, the other spouse may need to be removed from the mortgage. This could involve refinancing. A quit claim deed may remove one spouse from the title. A document called a qualified domestic relations order is necessary to split any retirement accounts that are not IRAs. An IRA does not require a QDRO, but the distribution should be rolled into a new IRA.

How to deal with a mortgage after a divorce

After a divorce, there is a critical question to answer about who gets to keep the marital home. In most cases, only one person is going to keep the property while the other is going to leave. However, it is wrong to assume that it is possible to assume the mortgage after a marriage comes to an end. Generally speaking, mortgage products initiated after 2008 do not allow for this to happen.

In the event that a mortgage can be assumed, a lender is going to want to do a credit check of the person assuming it. If a person is allowed to assume a mortgage, it isn't always the best decision to do so. This is because there may be fees to pay, and whoever keeps the property will need to pay for its upkeep. Depending on how much it costs to pay a mortgage and other associated expenses related to owning a home, it may be best to simply sell it.

The good and bad of virtual visitation

When exes share children, there are a number of ways that they can split their parenting time. Sometimes, when physical parenting time is not an option, virtual visitation can be a good way for parents in Oregon to remain in contact with their kids. While it offers a lot of benefits if used appropriately, it can also cause some problems.

What is virtual visitation? Who can get it? What are the pros and cons of including it in a custody agreement?

The problems cryptocurrencies cause during a divorce

When Bitcoin hit the scene in 2009, few Oregon residents understood how big of a deal cryptocurrencies were going to be. It is likely that none realized the impact cryptocurrencies would have in future divorce settlements. Currently, a number of family law attorneys as well as divorcing individuals are finding it challenging to find, place a value on and fairly divide cryptocurrencies.

One of the biggest problems that family law firms are facing with cryptocurrencies is that many of them just do not understand what they are. As a result, dealing with cryptocurrency assets has made the divorce process lengthy, difficult and more expensive. Two of the primary reasons for this are how difficult it is to value cryptocurrencies as an asset and how easy it is to hide cryptocurrencies.

Parent-child relationships after divorce

Parents in Oregon who are getting a divorce should know that research shows that having consistent and frequent contact with their children via text and social media can be an important factor in fortifying their relationship. The researchers also determined that in cases in which the children and divorced parents are residing in separate households, the state of the relationship between the divorcing parents was not a factor in the parent-child relationship as long as there was sufficient communication between the children and parents.

Mental health professionals have long hypothesized that the relationship between parents and their children after a divorce is a significant factor in how the kids are able to handle the divorce. They also believed that it impacted the quality of the relationship between children and parents.

Getting ready for a divorce

How to plan for a divorce may be the last things some married couples in Oregon think they have to consider. However, the rate of divorce in the United States is almost at 50 percent. This means that nearly 2 million divorces occur each year. Understanding the divorce process is important as it can lower stress and make the process easier to handle. It is important to know what steps to take before, during and after filing for divorce.

There are three phases of the divorce process. They include submitting the necessary paperwork to the courts, conducting research on the financial backgrounds of both spouses and disposition. Couples who decide to get a divorce but do not want the expenses and stress of a trial have multiple options. Depending on the circumstances of the divorce, a collaborative divorce or mediation may be suitable.

Common divorce reasons

One of the most common reasons for divorce in Oregon and the rest of the country is illness. According to one chief psychologist and marriage counselor, health problems can cause a number of issues in a marriage, including debt, loss of self and pain.

Many divorces can also be attributed to domestic violence. Nearly 25 percent of respondents in a survey conducted by the National Center for Biotechnology Information reported that both emotional and physical abuse led to the end of their marriage. A large number of the respondents stated that the abuse developed gradually and that there were periods in which strong remorse would follow intense instances of abuse.

Is your ex trying to alienate you from your children?

Many Oregon couples face post-divorce problems concerning their children. Some run into snags regarding custody proceedings, while others may disagree about financial support. Such problems are not all that uncommon, and a key to resolving such issues may lie in yours and your ex's willingness to cooperate and compromise while keeping your children's best interests in mind.

What if you're the only one willing to do that, however? In fact, what if your ex is not only uncooperative but is trying to turn your kids against you? This is known as parental alienation, and it is a serious problem that can negatively affect your children's emotional and mental health. It can also undermine your parental rights, which is why it's always a good idea to know how to seek the court's intervention when needed.

What Will Your Relationships Be Like After This Is All Over?

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Regele Law, LLC
2361 State St.
Salem, OR 97301

Phone: 971-203-2916
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