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Letting the children stay home after a divorce

Many parents assume that divorce means splitting custody, and that means moving the children from one house to the other. Maybe they plan to sell the home where they lived as a family and buy two new homes of their own.

This part of a divorce can actually be hardest on the children on a day-to-day basis. They feel like their whole life has been overturned. Not only do they just see one parent or the other, but they have to live in two houses that do not feel like home, and constantly moving back and forth makes it impossible for them to really settle in.

There is another option: Letting the children keep the house. They stay where they are. They don’t move. Their rooms, friends, neighborhood, school: All of it stays the same.

But how do you share custody if you’re divorced? It’s called nesting or birdnesting. You live in the house for a portion of the time — when you have custody — and then you trade places with your ex.

Is this a challenge for you? Sure. You and your spouse have to be on the same page and committed to working together. You’ll still see each other a lot and even share the living space — though not at the same time. But, if you want things to be stable for your kids, you may be willing to take on that challenge.

You have a lot of options during divorce. There are some that are right for your family. Make sure you consider all of them carefully as you move forward.