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Should You Divorce Someone You Still Like?

The pop-culture understanding of divorce is that it’s always a negative thing. Divorce is portrayed as a last resort for couples who hate each other or an escape for someone who’s been betrayed by their spouse. In the real world, though, divorce can be much less stressful. In fact, a divorce can be a calm and straightforward process when you can still collaborate with your partner. 

That’s why you might want to consider divorcing your partner while you still like them. Keep reading to learn why it’s sometimes better to end your marriage before it’s intolerable, the benefits of amicable splits, and how to handle a collaborative divorce.

Why You Might Consider Divorcing a Spouse You Like

There’s a significant difference between liking someone and loving them. If you loved someone enough at one point to marry them, then they probably have qualities you appreciate even outside of a relationship. Even if you’ve fallen out of love with your partner, it’s not unusual to care for them as a person.

However, simply liking someone as a friend is not grounds for a successful marriage. You need to be on the same page with your spouse if you want to grow together over the years. Without love, you no longer have the critical motivation necessary to dedicate yourself to supporting your partner for the rest of their life.

That’s why you might choose to end your marriage even if you still care for your partner. If you’ve tried to bring back the spark and it hasn’t worked, forcing your relationship to continue is bad for both of you. Dragging out a relationship out of a sense of duty is an excellent way to breed resentment.

Even if you still like your spouse, forcing yourself to stay in the relationship when you no longer love them all but guarantees future unhappiness. By choosing to officially end things before that happens, you can prevent a lot of pain.

The Benefits of Divorcing While You’re Still Amicable

Ending your marriage while you still care about each other does more than just set you free. You can also accomplish your divorce less hassle and stress. Some other benefits you’ll experience include:

Less Emotional Trauma

All divorces involve some emotional pain. After all, you’re ending a relationship you thought would last forever. Still, ending things before you resent your spouse is less painful in the long run. For example, you won’t have to live through months or years of your relationship falling apart entirely. Furthermore, you’ll be able to handle the legal process without the emotional strain of working with someone you dislike.

Less Financial Stress

If you and your spouse are amicable, you won’t face nearly as much financial stress during your split. Divorces can cost tens of thousands of dollars if you and your partner battle minor details. However, if you can work together, you can avoid some of the most costly elements of splitting up.

More Flexibility

If a divorce is handled by the courts, you’re obliged to follow whatever decisions the judge makes. The entire purpose of going to court is to get a legally binding set of orders when you and your spouse can’t agree. The judge must follow specific rules regarding asset division and child custody, so you may not get what you want from your split.

On the other hand, if you and your spouse can work together, you don’t need to go to court at all. Instead, you can get a collaborative divorce.

In a collaborative divorce, you and your spouse work together to determine the terms of your split. As long as you both agree, you can split your assets however you want. That flexibility can help you both move on with the resources you care about.

How to Handle a Collaborative Divorce

If you’ve reached the point where divorce seems like the best option, but you and your partner can still work together, then you’re in the perfect situation for a collaborative divorce. Here’s how you can start that process.

  • Find qualified attorneys for both you and your partner. Once you’ve decided to end things, the first thing you should do is reach out to an experienced divorce attorney. Both you and your spouse will need your own independent legal representation. Good divorce lawyers help you handle all the legal aspects of your split. By making sure you both have representation, you ensure that whatever you and your spouse decide will be accepted by the courts.
  • Consider both individual and couples’ counseling. Next, take care of yourself. Ending a relationship is hard. Individual counseling can help you come to terms with your decision. Meanwhile, couples’ counseling can help you and your partner approach the end of your relationship in good faith and without doubts about your choices.
  • Look into mediation. Finally, consider mediation for your divorce. A mediator is a trained, neutral third party who will help you and your spouse negotiate the terms of your split. They can help keep the process going smoothly and prevent emotions from getting in the way. A good mediator will offer suggestions and ideas while letting you and your lawyers determine the precise details of the split.

Moving Forward with an Amicable Divorce in Salem, Oregon.

If your spouse feels more like a roommate than a life partner, then it’s time to take action. When nothing has worked to bring the love back into your marriage, it’s often better to end things before you can’t stand your spouse. You’ll have the flexibility and respect necessary to negotiate terms you’ll both be happy with.

The best place to start is to find an experienced divorce lawyer in your area. The right attorney can connect you with resources for navigating your split in a timely, professional way. They can also help you negotiate for the things you care about most without needing to litigate your breakup. Scheduling your consultation with the compassionate team at Regele Law, LLC, is the first step to moving forward with your split and your life.