Many Oregon couples face post-divorce problems concerning their children. Some run into snags regarding custody proceedings, while others may disagree about financial support. Such problems are not all that uncommon, and a key to resolving such issues may lie in yours and your ex's willingness to cooperate and compromise while keeping your children's best interests in mind.
What if you're the only one willing to do that, however? In fact, what if your ex is not only uncooperative but is trying to turn your kids against you? This is known as parental alienation, and it is a serious problem that can negatively affect your children's emotional and mental health. It can also undermine your parental rights, which is why it's always a good idea to know how to seek the court's intervention when needed.
Methods parents use to target ex-spouses for alienation
If your ex has visitation or you have a shared custody arrangement, there are times when your children are out of your sight and spending time with their other parent. How can you tell if parental alienation is taking place? The following list includes signs that are often suggest such behavior:
- Your kids criticize you or second-guess your judgment
- They don't want to come home when it's time to do so
- They express points of view using adult terminology, perhaps insulting your personality or making other degrading remarks
- Your children have developed attitudes that suggest everything you do is wrong and everything their other parent does is right
- Your ex is refusing to provide means of communication between you and your children while they are with him or her
These are definite signs of a possible parental alienation problem and not something you want to disregard or ignore. If this type of problem gets out of hand, it can be difficult to heal the rift that may develop between you and your kids. However, if you gather evidence and promptly present it to the court, the judge overseeing your case can take steps to rectify the situation.
Talking to your children about alienation
Divorce is emotionally challenging for everyone involved. By reminding your children that you are there to support them and that you love them and want what is best for them, they may be better able to cope with their new lifestyle. Having an active, healthy relationship with your kids may also make it easier for them to recognize signs of attempted alienation.